Stacie Rife Bailey's Bliss

Where the hell have I been?

WOW it has actually been so long since I blogged that I sign into Typepad to find out I have to learn it all over again..

Either the changes they have made are so drastic,, OR since becoming a mommy my brain has really acually turned to MUSH... I think the later is the actual..

 

Where do I begin? or RESTART.. I have felt so out of touch going thru the ONES TWOS and now coming up on the THREE's with my daughter.. that I feel it is time to start using my brain a little and acting instead of reacting..

Someone once told me when my daughter was a baby... "say goodbye to the first couple years of her life as far as yourself is concerned" my initial thought was YEAH WHATEVER... that is so outlandish... but NOW I KNOW... SHE COULDN'T OF BEEN MORE RIGHT ON THE MONEY...

I have focused these entire two years solely on her I have forgotten who I am and what I did... I used to blog everyday? NO WAY.. not me... I used to create things on a daily/weekly basis??? NO WAY not me... but YES that was me... and now I have to completely re-invent myself... what I had worked so hard for before has completely been erased.. matter of fact I am sure that I will be the only one reading this.... my readers have flown the coupe ....flew the coupe??..

Regardless.. I have to start somewhere... for the sake of my sanity I need to get my words and thoughts down SOMEWHERE...

Yes I have tried to actually journal with pen and paper.. but the minute I get my markers out.. the little is like "mommy I draw with your markers"...and I end up getting nothing down but a drawing animals from random to please that little princess.... which is such and oxy moron to me because when I first dreamt of having a little child from God... I couldn't imagine nothing cooler than journaling with my child... and now I only wish I could have a moment alone.... LOL

Don't get me wrong.. being a mother has been the most amazing experience I have ever had and I love my daughter more than words can say...

I just need to get back to having somewhat of an identity...somewhat of a release of this person I am now... AN OUTLET... 

So here I am POSTING AGAIN after years of poopy diapers.. I only hope I can stick to it and dedicate even a few minutes here..

If anyone is even reading this... thanks for your support... :)

A taste of Spring

We got a taste of spring the other day with it warm enough to actually sit outside on a blanket...

OH.. it felt so nice..

This is my friends daughter Sydney feeding Audrey... she IS Audrey's buddy. Syd has been a HUGE help to me since Audrey's birth! She is my little angel that comes over to help me on occasion. She is SOOO good with Audrey, and Audrey absolutely adores her.

Our blossoming plum trees are in full bloom now.. but we have yet to see any consecutive days of sun.. mosty rain.. so when the sun does come out we take full advantage of it!

How would you spend a 5 day weekend???

Would you petition congress to push for a 5 day weekend to enjoy with your family and friends??  To do more of what you love and have more days on the weekend to do it??? Sounds good to me!

Everything has meaning

what I am thinking today.....

In "times"... times in general.. life can be such a blessing...you can be lifted to cloud nine with wonderful thats happen to you.. and then in an instant have your heart ripped out and stomped on.

You question "why"..but all in all I guess you have to know and have the strength to know that everything has meaning.. and everything happens for a reason...

MY list

Without...

Without learning we don't grow, without loving we don't feed the soul.

Without paying attention we miss out,without stopping we don't learn about.

Without caring we become cold,without nurturing our soul grows old.

Without creating we become weak,without looking we cannot seek.

Without reassurance we question the task,without support why stop and ask.

Without living with purpose life is dull, without fulfilling our destiny our hearts never full.

Without teaching, why make? why not encourage what's at stake?

Without goals we become lost. Without sharing, take at what cost?

Without growing we just stand still, without knowing, it is not real.

Just imagine going withOUT, it's not what life is all about.

All the above is what we need,a life full of love and without greed.

Something.....it's not hard to make a change, bring in love to rearrange.

Start with 1 smile to someone you don't know, and watch your soul begin to grow.

SR 2007

TOO MUCH!

Too much is going on in my life right now. I am burning the candle at both ends but am too proud to ask for help. I have taken on too much, and my pride gets in my way. I don't want to let anyone down. But it has taken it's toll, I feel as if I could collapse at any time.

1 word to describe me right now.. CHAOS.

Complete CHOAS.

I am finding my back hurts more than ever... I am tripping, dropping things and by the time I go to bed I feel as if I could sleep for 5 days straight (and probably could) My lack of organization has got me completely wigged out.. but no time to correct the issue..

CALGON TAKE ME AWAY!

Thoughts

This is for those out there who are dealing with much more than a pain in the back.....

My thoughts and prayers are with you!

And for the soilders who are serving our country...(Maija brought this to my attention) we can go to "Let's Say Thanks" website and send them a thank you card!!

Where is the "Z"?

For the last week I have been barely treading water on less than 5 hours of sleep a night.

Usually I require at least 8 hours but 10 is a good functioning level for me…

I crawl in bed around 10 and toss and turn and my mind is going a million miles an hour for the next 3-4 hours.. (HOURS!).. but don’t ask me about what.. because I don’t stick to one subject long enough to know what I am even thinking about myself!

Then the last recollection I have is seeing the red florescent #’s between

1:30

and

2:30

.. and then the alarm is going off at 6!

I can’t take it anymore! I cannot even function.. I am like a walking zombie. Dark circles under my eyes.. pale skin… tripping over my own feet.. driving my car on auto-pilot. I can’t fall asleep at night but could barely bat an eye at work and I could be sleeping in my carpeted cubicle!

I finally broke down and made a Doctors appt.. tomorrow!

What I would do right now for the letter ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzz

Someday

Someday I'll get organized & motivated enough to spruce up my "art space"..

I use a portion of our unfinished basement as a make-shift studio...

and although I AM extremely grateful for having anything at all.. it is a little depressing because it's in the basement.. the walls are dark cement.. the floor is cement..no good light, and the rafters are dark..

Someday I would like to make it pretty and special like so many others' art rooms I see...

If I had the time or energy I would paint the walls and rafters and floor.. just don't have the amibtion :(

Here is an article I ran across on the iVillage site on making your own space...

Something nice, bright and organized is only a pipedream!!!